To Stress or Not To Stress

I thought the wedding planning process was supposed to be stressful?

We have about six and a half months until our June 11, 2011 wedding. Its mid November and he proposed in June, June 10th to be exact.  In five months we’ve gotten a lot done and learned even more!

We’re planning a local wedding, but for me, I suppose you could consider it a destination wedding, right? Living in Costa Rica and getting married in Pennsylvania. I thought it was going to be much more stressful. I had all my meetings over a month ago, and almost everything is set:

• Colors: White and greens with accents of purples and gray.
• Theme: Not really any particular theme, more natural, garden feel with a touch of elegant.
• Band: 10 Spot with Sam Hill Entertainment
• Cake: Simple white cake with a simple icing and bold accents of flowers. Cindy’s Sweets.
• Flowers: Big flowers, loose arrangements, lots of candles. Ben’s Florist.
• Photography: They described themselves as “artsy documentary”, which I’m really excited about. Roman Grinev Photography.
• Location: Ceremony is going to be in the middle of the woods, the reception in an old hunting lodge overlooking the Appalachian Mountains. The Lodge at Blue Ridge Summit.

I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but thinking about everything, deciding what we like, setting meetings, going to the meetings, making changes, reviewing proposals, blah blah blah blah. Through this process I’ve learned a few things:

1. “This (wedding) is the woman’s deal”. And “the groom need not worry about anything except for the suits and a handful of other things”….this is what I’ve been told by many many people, who have already been through the process. The first few months, I refused to accept this, but I have come to understand why I was told to give the man a small, very small list. Many men, including mine, don’t want to be part of the planning process.  About three months ago, Patrick had an opinion on everything and wanted to be part of the planning process, I was really happy about this, but found that this ended up being just TOO many opinions, my mother, Patrick and myself.  Better to just make the decision “on his behalf”.
2. I don’t care about anything except for the location, band and the flowers. I have found after years of attending weddings, that I never remember the food, I don’t remember the cake, or the signature cocktail or the bride’s dress. I do remember the band, I remember if they were good, and if they were bad, I remember what not to have and what to have.  I feel this can make or break a wedding, if no one is dancing, the wedding is a flop (right?). The only reason I care about the flowers, is because I’m a wedding coordinator and we do all of the wedding designs ourselves along side our florist. I’m very detail oriented. I’m concerned that the day of, I will over analyze everything, wanting to move a single flower from one side of the bouquet to the other, and much more.
3. If you look, a wedding on a budget can easily be done!

• First of all, plan your own wedding, who needs a wedding coordinator when you have family and friends!
• Use a simple website like Wedding Wire to assist your guests with their travel and accommodation options.  This can save money on cards and inserts in invitations, as well as RSVPs.
• Simple butter cream can look elegant.
• Bands come in all price ranges, just look.  There are many great DJ options out there!
• Find a venue that might not be as accessible or in the exact “beach front” location you want and you’re guaranteed a deal.  Think outside the box!
• Flowers can be done by a florist, but add candles, they add drama and elegance, this makes your centerpieces more dramatic and larger, while using less flowers.
• Also, for your ceremony, use a setting that won’t need an alter or a backdrop.  Some examples of outdoor settings include:  the beach, the mountains, a garden, in front of a large tree.  Indoor locations include:  a fireplace, a large window looking out to a garden, a beautiful painting, use a museum.
• Guests don’t need to have steak for dinner. Who remembers the steak they had at a wedding two years ago?
• Invitations are thrown away, do you have to spend $10 on each invitation? Print it yourself, or check out Paper Divas.
• Men’s suits can be purchased at an outlet store like Banana Republic.  They carry last season’s clothing, but discounted, sometimes more than 50%.
• Make your own bridesmaids’ gifts.  Check out bead stores, like Potomac Bead Company for beads and classes.  Also, check out Etsy.com for handmade gifts.  Get creative!
• If the venue will let you, do BYOB.  You buy all the alcohol and they charge a corking fee per person.  This can cut off a huge amount of money.  In our case, we’re saving around $10-$15 per person per hour.

I think the main thing I’ve learned…RELAX!  Its one day in your life, although important, its still only one day!  You’re going to buy a house, thats exciting, you’ll have children, which just might top your wedding.  Also, if you can let things go, you’ll have fun at your wedding, and so what if the flowers aren’t quite right, who cares if you have “that guy” drunk at your reception, doesn’t everyone have one.

We’re so excited, the wedding is approaching quickly and will be here before we know it!  I’m trying to relax and let the excitement and the fun part of planning take over!  Wish us luck!